“You all fucking suck” - A Horror Story by Ace Anderson

“You all fucking suck” - A Horror Story by Ace Anderson

For a moment, I want you to imagine your dream home... You love this home! It looks and feels exactly how you want it to. You couldn’t ask for a better home in a better location. It is perfect in every way. What’s more is that YOU built it from the ground up. All of the appliances work as they should talking to one another. The lights come on when you enter; there is a natural breeze that purifies the air; the bed spreads itself in the morning. You even have robots that cook, clean, and disinfect the house when necessary. They also spray for ants and roaches as needed. If ever there was a home with a true ecosystem, it is this one. Maybe you’re an animal person too! You decide to adopt two dogs. Maybe you get a cat too! Your dogs are perfect because they love scraps, so you NEVER have to waste food. They are so well trained. They greet you at the door. And they never poop or pee inside. The dogs and cat get along extremely well. Mainly because the cat thinks it’s a dog. Wow! What a life... Can you see this home? Can you smell the natural fragrances? Can you taste the sweet air? Everything is perfect. Everything is balanced. Everything is everything.

One day, upon returning to your perfect dream home after a month vacation, you unlock the door as you always do, but for some reason the lights don’t turn on. Odd. That’s never happened. You step inside and notice that a piercing stench of perhaps propane has taken over your once blissfully scented living room. Strange. As you begin to investigate and your eyes adjust to the darkness you notice a haze in the air almost like smoke. Confusion sets in. You look a bit deeper. Your eyes have fully adjust and you notice the walls have holes ripped in them almost as if they’re decaying. The floor has been sticky this whole time but you can finally see why. The refrigerator freezer had leaked all of its fluids everywhere after the power went out. The cabinets are all opened. Food is gone. Your appliances have been destroyed. Food is everywhere. Feces is everywhere. The robots have been aggressively dismantled. Your first thought is that you’ve been robbed so you grab your phone and call 911 as you continue to investigate. 

You’re heart is broken. Tears are in your eyes. This was your dream home. “Why did you take that stupid vacation?” You ask yourself. You turn on your flash light and roaches scurry from the bright lights every which way. Ants consume an apple on the floor. Fruit-flies buzz passed your ear. You don’t recognize this place. Then you have a thought. “My pets didn’t greet me at the door! Did the thieves take them too?” You push open the door to the bathroom, you shine the light inside and a paralyzing sensation comes over you as you notice what may be one thousand beady-eyed bloodthirsty rats parlaying inside your bathtub. You notice bloody fur and bones and you realize Garfield, Wishbone, and Courage the Cowardly Dog had no chance against these starving carnivorous creatures. They are irritated by your light and spill out of the bathtub and dart towards you. You scream in horror and slam the door before they could reach you. You cover your ears with your back to the door. The sound of the little giant beasts colliding with the door is like something from a zombie movie. Horrific. 

You run to the bedroom in hopes of grabbing your shotgun from under the bed, but what lies in your bed is something that will be engrained in your mind forever. As far as rat sizes go, this is an elephant: a behemoth of rodent. You deduce in these quick moments that this is the rat king. He lays on his back at the center of your king size bed and wears a crown of copper wire. He is surrounded by copper, mined from the robots and electronic appliances. This is the new rat currency. You notice all the “good” food has been stored in the master bedroom where only the king and other elite rats have access to it. They notice your presence, you slam the bedroom door, and dart out of the house with nothing.

Rats playing cards

Your dream home has officially been overthrown. You call a pest control company and they tell you they’ve never seen a case that bad. Their advice is to destroy the entire house and start new. Your perfect palace of peace, pride and joy has been corrupted by seemingly intelligent parasitic killer critters and all you were trying to do was create a beautiful home with symbiosis. Now for the tough decisions: You have the power to destroy them; should you? Or should you move on, build a new home, and let them destroy themselves?


For those of you who’ve read this far: thank you for reading my open letter to God. In other words. We are the parasite that destroyed the dream. I’m sure many of you self-centered, self-righteous people assumed I was talking to and about you. I understand why because we’ve been taught to think this earth is ours; that we can do what we want with it. We’ve been taught that the lives of our species matter most despite the fact the we’ve been the MOST destructive species in existence. That ranks us #1 over 8.7 million estimated possible contestants. GODZILLA and KING KONG ain’t got shit on our kill count. I’m not just talking destroying forests, polluting air, and devouring animals. I’m saying we are ranked #1 for species on species murder. Nobody can kill a species like the human race! We some BAD motherfuckers! Father Sun and Mother Earth have given life to all things and created ultimate balance then gave us the easiest job. All we have to do is maintain the balance, and we’ve been blessed with the intelligence to do it. We are literally guardians of the earth. But all we care about is finding ungrateful ways to tip the scale and put the individual before the collective. 

But since you all care so much about the unimportant shit, like black vs white, Christian vs Muslim. Since you all care so much to play God and kill all the “rodents”. I challenge you with these important questions before you decide how to deal with the destructive demons...

1. What religion were the rats? 
2. What race were the rats?
3. What sexual orientation were the rats?

#EducateEarth

I am a professional Actor, Graphic Designer & Photographer. My career started as a full-time designer in 2013. Two years later, I said “hell no” to depression, quit my job and, went full-time freelance with my own design company, The Striped Heart. Shortly after I accepted a company membership with Tony-Award winning Dallas Theater Center’s acting company. My greatest asset is my creative outlook on life. I've been engrossed in the world of the arts since I was very young. They way art moves and inspires people is what keeps me going. I was born to be a connector and a leader. I strongly believe we were put on this earth to create. Therefor it is my ultimate goal to keep art and creativity alive and well for as long as I live. People say I'm not funny...